I've been heavily focusing on my finances as of late. Which is probably due to the fact that a little over 6 months ago I was unemployed and extremely depressed about the lack of future I saw for myself. When I got a job I was so excited to be able to get myself back on my feet and paying my bills on my own again. No more mooching off my family or boyfriend. I miss the way I felt about life when I was working at my former office. Life hasn't been the same since I left that job. And for a long time I thought I was doomed forever financially.
Then I got a new job and things started looking up, so I thought. I was part of a group outside of work that focused on growing personal wealth and examining our pasts and thoughts about money and wealth in general. Through this group I started tracking my spending. In the easiest way possible: my check register. I balanced my checkbook often. I needed to know exactly how much money was in my bank because I was so far behind on my bills. I spent the first few months of my newfound employment feeling like I was just as broke as before. The only difference was now I was paying my bills (and on time!) with my own money, not someone else's. When I got to the point that everything was caught up I started focusing on the things I needed to save up for. I wrote everything out for the year. All the events coming up that I knew I wanted to be a part of or had already committed to. There's the music festivals I want to go to twice a year, my cousins wedding in October, a fun birthday trip, my bestie coming to visit from Florida, Christmas money. So much to save for! I did the math for each and every event. I planned a budget and figured out how much I would need to put away each paycheck to cover these things. I was finally making money, and I was putting it away to do things I love, but then I'm left with nothing in the bank, again. Ugh.
I started listening to investing podcasts. I needed to find a way to save for the long term while still having something in the short term. With these podcasts, my dreams started to feel completely possible. But... I needed to really see where I was standing and I needed more than just a balanced checkbook to see that. So I downloaded the "Mint" app (recommended by one podcast) and put everything I could into it. I connected my bank accounts to track my spending. With my check register I could see my balance and go through it to see where my money was going. With the app, it gave me a graph and I could see just what percentage of my paycheck was going towards food and gas and everything else. I connected my credit cards. That was scary because it lays it all out there. There's all my debt, staring me in the face. But it's actually not too bad. And knowing exactly where I am with it helps me keep my eye on the prize. The prize of paying off my credit cards. Then I did the scariest part....I used to app to check my credit score. Oof. Not good. Really bad in fact.
Even though it felt bad, and I started to feel the real weight of my debts and past decisions, it was nice to have everything right there in my face. An easy at a glance look to show me how I'm doing with my money. Having it all in my face makes it easier for me to stay on track with my goals monetarily. Looking at it often keeps it in the front of my mind and it's easier to not buy a coffee or lunch at work because I know what I'm saving for and what I really have available. Slowly but surely, I am crawling my way out of the deepest financial hole I've been in and I love how easy it is to visualize with proper tracking.
The only thing in my life that I'm unhappy with at this point is my weight and overall health. I've lost weight and gained it back a few times in the time since graduating high school and now I'm at the heaviest I've ever been. I feel disgusting. None of my clothes fit and I'm in the biggest size I've ever worn. I've let it go too far. I hate looking at myself in the mirror and that's a damn shame because I love myself. I think I'm awesome and I'm so excited for my future. But I want to feel good when I see myself. I want to feel like I'm really presenting my best self to the world. I want most of all to finally tackle this problem. I felt so fit when I moved back from Florida and I want that back.
So I downloaded the "MyFitnessPal" app yesterday. I've been trying to track my food and exercise in a journal. My cousin, who is a personal trainer, is checking in with me every week to help with the accountability thing in this fitness journey I'm on. The journal thing just wasn't working for me. I love the journal itself. It's all bright and cute and personalized. Sometimes I forget to take it with me everywhere I go or I decide I don't need to take it everywhere and I'll just fill it in at night. But then I forget some of the things I've eaten, and I don't write in it and then I'm back at the beginning. Shoulding all over myself about the damn journal and having no real idea of what I've put in my body for another day.
I thought to myself, if tracking my money with an app has helped me so much, maybe using an app for my fitness will help too. If it doesn't help, I stay right where I am until I find something that does right? Well the app is awesome. It's easy to use and easy to set up. My boyfriend and I went out to eat, and the sandwich I had was in the system already and so easy to find. We made stuffing with dinner at home and all I had to do was scan the barcode on the box of stuffing and BAM! The info is there. All in all, I had a 3000 calorie day yesterday. That is disgusting. No wonder my clothes don't fit! When I completed yesterdays "diary" entry it said "If every day were like today..." and then told me how much I would weigh this time next week if I kept going at that rate. It said I would gain 7 pounds. Holy hell!!!
When I set the app up, it asked me how much I wanted to lose overall and at what rate (the highest rate being 2 lbs. per week which it advised me not to start with such an aggressive goal but I ignored that advice because I'm in a wedding soon and I calculated that losing 2 pounds a week will put me at my goal by Christmas so there!) and the app created a daily calorie count goal in order to achieve my goal. When I add exercise, the calorie count goes up which is nice because on this second day of tracking I'm seeing how much I'm really consuming and I need to chill the eff out. When I was at my most fit in Florida, I was eating a lot of salad and I see that happening again. No more of these big extravagant dinners with my boyfriend and no more late night brownie snacks.
Don't get me wrong. I know I can't deprive myself. I know how easy it is to gain it all back. Boy do I know! I really think this app will help me because it puts everything at the tip of my fingers. I always have my phone with me. When I can see exactly where I am, it makes it easier to make better choices throughout the day. If I'm running out of calories but I'm starving, I can add in some exercise and then I'm balancing things better. I know there will be days that I go crazy. My boyfriend and I like to eat and we like to eat good food. But we also like to cook and playing with new healthier recipes will be fun (you can add recipes from online or your own into the system to calculate the nutritional values easily). It may take a little work while I set things up in the beginning but I believe the payoff will be great. According to the reviews of the app, I'm not wrong. It makes you think more about what you're eating because when you log it you see how much it's really costing you. Data is powerful.
Apps that use my real life info to track my progress make the daunting tasks feel more like games and easier to visualize real progress.
I know this entry is a little jumbled and wordy, but I needed to get something out. I need to feel like I'm doing something....something more. So here it is. Progress is coming!
